Killing Time

Last Tuesday, I had an appointment to get the oil changed and no other concrete plans, but I did have a few other things I wanted to do. You know, important things like picking up Modern Warfare 3 (which had come out that day), going to the chiropractor due to tightness in my lower back, and the possibility of meeting with my friend Michael for Bible study. With that possibility looming, I really didn't want to drive all the way home only to turn around and drive to Granger, so I went in a few stores to pass some time.

While I was in Dollar Tree, Alyssa came in and said hi to me. My favorite memory of Alyssa is that when she was in jr. high, I used to drive her crazy--picking on her by raising only one eyebrow. (I was a jr. high small group leader at the time.) But I digress... As we talked, she asked what I was doing? Without a lot of thought, I said, "Killing time... waiting for surgery." For those who may not be aware, I'm scheduled for shoulder surgery at the end of the month, after I've been off work since my latest dislocation 10/15. Now, some time off is good, but I'd much rather be working than have all this time off due to this physical injury. Still, if those words didn't hit me as soon as they came out of my mouth, it wasn't long for the gravity of what I had said to sink in.  "Killing time... waiting for surgery."

As if the twenty-one (plus) days are a waste of my life. As if there is nothing productive (physically or spiritually) that I can do until surgery.

Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Ephesians 5:15-16 NIV

Here's something I found on specifically on verse 16, as other translations substitute "redeeming the time" for "making the most of every opportunity":

Barnes' Notes on the Bible
Redeeming the time - The word rendered here as "redeeming," means "to purchase; to buy up" from the possession or power of anyone; and then to redeem, to set free - as from service or bondage; notes, Galatians 3:13. Here it means, to rescue or recover our time from waste; to improve it for great and important purposes.

The problem is in the mindset! My time is not my own, as my life is not my own. I CANNOT live according to my flesh in such a way that I feel like such a length of time is to be wasted! This has greater ramifications than just that, though. How can I, going forward, spend so much time and money feeding the flesh?

taking things for granted

After a long hiatus from blogging, I'm compelled to write this tonight. Most of you who read this know that I dislocated my shoulder (again) on Saturday while I was working. So here I sit, typing with my left hand while my right is in a sling.

It seems to me we don't always appreciate things, big or small, until they are taken away from us (or are nearly taken).

Here's a list in no particular order of things that I now have difficulty doing that I have taken for granted.

typing, using a mouse, writing (I'm right-handed), tying my shoes, fastening my pants (button, zipper, and belt), driving (it's hard to change gears and to start the car, closing the passenger door, accessing my right pockets, opening child-proof medicine bottles, doing laundry, folding clothes, brushing my teeth, shaving (can't stretch the skin to get a closer shave), cooking, stirring stuff, taking things out of the oven, using a can opener, taping a shipping label on a package, playing video games, opening containers, getting comfortable, showering (while trying to keep the sling dry)

Surely there are more I can't think of right now. That leads to a bigger question, though. What things are you taking for granted in your everyday lives? The air you breathe? The fact that you can breathe? Your safety? Your health? Your job? Your God?

God, although I'm not fond of my situation, thanks for reminding me to be thankful!

Sabbath = Good

i'm not sure why my phone refuses to insert capital letters. this may be the first time i have blogged on the mobile browser.

regardless, i feel really relaxed right now. Hey, what do you know? I figured out the trick to capitalize in this browser. Sorry, ADD moment... Seriously, though, after working what seems like a lot of days in a row, I got some time off to go to a union convention followed by vacation in California.

I started this post on my phone on 6/24, but I gave up when it wouldn't let me make corrections or add anything.

During my time off, I was very relaxed. I didn't have the pressures of work or projects around the house. I was free to enjoy the awesome family God has given me, free to sleep in more than I usually can, and free to enjoy the days without any rain (as we had so much rain in the days and weeks prior to that). We enjoyed In-n-Out a few times. (They need to bring one out this way!) I didn't have to go to bed so early, because I was going to be sleeping at 5:30 when the alarm normally goes off 6 days a week. I read Tolkien's The Hobbit in its entirety and began reading The Fellowship of the Ring. I didn't spend as much time in the Word as I probably otherwise would have, but I was enjoying Him through enjoying that which He has given. We drove up Mt. Baldy and took the "scenic route" (read long way) down. It was absolutely beautiful. It reminded me of the mountains that we lived among in Bolivia. While we were up on the mountain, I found two pine cones that were each about 12 inches long... I didn't know they could get that big! Oh, and I didn't mention them specifically before, but my niece and nephew are both adorable (and I miss them lots)!

Anyway, now that I've been back going on two weeks, it's hard to remember to sabbath; or perhaps more accurately, it's just hard to set aside everything (that has piled up) and focus on and really enjoy our Creator. It's really hard--especially when you work basically every day and then have major catch up to do at home. Enough of that, though. Tomorrow is Sunday, and I get to enjoy family and friends, brothers and sisters, and, of course, God himself!

goodnight!

Clutter

My house is filled with clutter. There is a mess in every room save for the bathrooms. In the past, I've said, "I have a project in every room of the house." Whatever I call it doesn't change its nature. The clutter consists of books, cds, dvds, video games and systems, boxes/shipping materials for selling said video games/systems, t-shirts, tools, and other paper clutter.

The task of cleaning the mess is so daunting I don't know where to begin. It's not that I don't know where things are; I have a pretty good handle on that. The problem is that things are piled up just about everywhere. When I invite people over, I intend to get the other rooms in order, but I just end up cleaning the living room, bathroom, and the kitchen, ie. the presentable rooms. Also, when I do start cleaning, I get distracted easily.

This leads me to a couple of quick thoughts, which I'll throw out there now, since I've been putting off packing or going to bed.

1. Do we (like my cleaning for company) only work on the parts of our lives we project to others, or do we thoroughly clean (or allow Him to clean) our internal mess?

2. Do we have too many distractions in our lives (whether tangible items, work, people, events, etc.) that we can't hear God's voice?

wowsers

Wowsers... it's been a while since I've posted anything or read the other blogs I'm following.

Today, I was glad to find out that the place I had fix my tire yesterday isn't incompetent. As I was delivering mail today, I heard the sound of air escaping my tire (the one that was fixed yesterday). It seemed like it was coming from the same spot, so I headed to the tire place, mildly annoyed that "their patch wasn't holding." Coming to find out, though, it was not the same hole but a different one... :o/ I'm thankful they got me in and out quickly both days!

As I've been reading the Psalms lately, God has been speaking to me about being thankful. It isn't easy to have an attitude of thanks unless you remain focused on Him. I still need work on that...

Plank or Speck?

Although I haven't read it recently, this passage came to my mind within the last week.

(Matthew 7:1-5 NIV)
1 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3 "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

I guess I'm ok at pointing out things in others' lives that aren't necessarily visible to them. Am I being critical of them? My question is what is the obvious thing (lacking/needing attention/etc.) in my own life that's not so obvious to me? In addition to that, are the things I see in others things that have been spiritually discerned such that I should be extra careful whether to share them with that person, or am I just judging myself better than them in some way, shape or form?

A song in my head

Anyone who currently works with me knows that I get pleasure out of getting a song stuck in their heads. The one that I've been using for that has (for the last few months) been Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline." I also like to "song drop." When words of a lyric of a song are mentioned in conversation, I'll sing or whistle a bit of the song, even if I only know a little of it. All of the "Sweet Caroline" nonsense started when we were talking about how many co-workers were expecting grandkids. Dan, a city carrier, was saying he didn't know the gender of his yet-unborn grandchild but that the names that had been picked out were Caroline and George. Without a thought, I belted out a bit of the song, and the rest, as they say, is history. I think most of them probably hate that song by now. Incidentally, the child was a boy and was named George, but the joke still goes on at least a couple times a week.

That said, a song that has been in my head on and off for the last day or two has been Kelly Clarkson's "Never Again." Here's an excerpt of the song.

I would never wish bad things
But I don't wish you well
Could you tell
By the flames that burned your words?

I never read your letter
'Cause I knew what you'd say
Give me that Sunday school answer
Try and make it all okay

Does it hurt
To know I'll never be there?
Bet it sucks
To see my face everywhere

It was you
Who chose to end it like you did
I was the last to know

You knew
Exactly what you would do
Don't say
You simply lost your way

She may believe you
But I never will
Never again

 While I can identify with some of the lyrics here and elsewhere in the song from life experiences, the part that stuck out to me was the first two lines of the quoted section, which say, "I would never wish bad things, but I don't wish you well." At first glance or first listen, as it were, this doesn't sound too bad. After I thought about it, I realized that doing this sounds slightly different from the normal/natural tendency, which is to "love your neighbor and hate your enemy" (Matthew 5:43). But this is not up to the standard Jesus called us to, which is to "love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." (v44) He called us to this, saying "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." (v48)

Two examples of this (off the top of my head) are Jesus and Stephen. Jesus, as He was in extreme agony, dying on the cross, cried out, "Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34) Stephen, as the crowd was stoning him, cried out, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." (Acts 7:60)

As I alluded to earlier, there were/are situations in my life where the normal/common/accepted thing would be to curse or hate those who hurt me. And I sure was there for a while. This, of course, did absolutely nothing to the other person, but it kept me from healing, kept me from freedom, and kept me in bondage to bitterness and anger. But God had and has more for me than that. To free me, He had to bring me to the place of remembering the pain to be able to forgive and release it.

Part of God's call is "to proclaim good news to the poor... to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners..." (from Isaiah 61:1) Just how are people supposed to do that if they haven't yet experienced it for themselves? Let's find freedom and healing, so we're able to move -- beyond "not wishing bad things" on those who have hurt us-- to loving as God loves.