Do you believe there is one right person for everyone? Here's my take.
In a nutshell, my take on "the one" is that it is fear-inducing garbage. I used to think it was the "Christian view," but the older I've gotten, the more I realize this is hogwash--although it's (somewhat) presented by well-meaning people. Track with me. There isn't anything in the Bible that definitively supports this. In fact, I can only think of 4 cases (off the top of my head) where God chose/determined the spouse for someone, which would make these exceptions and not the rule. (Adam/Eve, Isaac/Rebekah, Boaz/Ruth, Joseph/Mary are the 4 I thought of.)
Think about how "the one" is presented. In my life, it was, "the person you marry is the second most important decision you'll make in your life--after choosing to follow Christ." Shoot, even think about how Christ is often presented-- (ask Jesus into your heart so you don't go to hell). That isn't exactly the most effective way to get someone to seek the Lord and follow after Him, is it? In the same way, shouldn't we teach people better what it means to have a personal relationship with Christ and how to follow Him instead of focusing on a dire possible outcome?
The key part of this whole thing is that if we are determined to follow His will, it naturally follows that we will marry someone who is also determined to follow His will. However, God's will is not so narrow that we need to fear being outside of it. If we are too concerned with finding "the one," we will not be as focused on what we know to be His will, ie what He says in Scripture to be doing (Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength; and Love your neighbor as yourself-- all the law and prophets are summed up in these two).
We also have free will. If I make a choice among A, B and C, that choice will have consequences, both good and not so good. Assuming that choice is that of a spouse, the direction of our life will be affected, not necessarily towards or away from God (although that can definitely happen), but the smaller things will be affected. Geography, family, friends, jobs, and more-directed passions are some of those differences--none of which is a heaven/hell issue. We are subject to/affected by others' free will as well. I had a professor who said, "God's foreknowledge is not causative." So, ultimately, even though God knows if/who we will marry, that does not force it to happen (like He knew about sin).
One last little thought for now on this question is that there are 6,000,000,000 people on the planet, give or take ;-). Good luck finding a needle in that haystack. =)
Sorry if that was rambling. =) I just don't want people to live in subjection to lies of our enemy. We're made for freedom-- to give Him much glory.
A blog!! I wish Facebook had a way to prominently link to people's blogs and other favorite websites.
ReplyDeleteI'm wanting to get back to blogging over at Pleonast. Facebook is OK, but it still is missing something that I had over there, that I've never had anywhere else.
Good thoughts on "The One". We were both raised, I think, in an environment that says "God has this perfect blueprint for your life, and if you miss it then you're going to have settle for his 'Plan B'". That's hogwash.
Amazing how many things we've been taught that aren't really in the Bible, or are misrepresentations of what's in the Bible.
Blog away! Looking forward to more thoughts from you!
I don't think I'm 2 busy 2 sleep right now, just having a hard time slowing my mind down...too much caffeine too late at night. :) Anyway, I think what you have to say about "the one" is rather insightful. This coming from a person who used to believe heavily in "the one." I not only think we've been taught this through our churches, but also movies and media. How many times do we see a love story where it talks about one true love and they over come all kinds of obstacles to be together and it works out because of fate...ah...gotta love a good chick flick. I think women get so caught up in "the one" that they (we) set most relationships up for failure b/c they don't meet such high expectations.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I wonder if people who are truly, happily married would say that they don't believe in "the one."
Your perspective about being in God's will and following Him and finding someone else who is following His will is dead on! I think sometimes I get caught up in what I want that I forget that if I'm following and pursuing Him whole heartedly that He will lead me. I don't think I've thought about though that His will isn't necessarily narrow. I tend to think the opposite, not that that is at all right, in fact, it's wrong and it causes me to doubt at times.
Alright, sorry for rambling, just wanted to throw my 2 or 3 cents in there.